Drink Like a Fish

Your cocktail says something about you.

For instance, ordering a martini says you appreciate the finer things in life, ordering a gin and tonic says you appreciate the simple things in life, and ordering a Long Island Ice T says you don't care where your pants end up. But mixed drinks go deeper than that, much deeper. When you mosey up to the bar and place your order, you open a window into your very soul, revealing not only who you are, but also who you long to be. So know your cocktails and order with care, or you might send the wrong message.



Bellini

You have a tab at Olive Garden.



Bloody Mary

They're good if you only drink these for hangovers…If you are drinking them at work instead of coffee…might be a problem there, Alci Holicstien.



Cosmopolitan

You should’t start drinking these until after your first divorce, and don't start really enjoying them until after your second...And yes all bets are off if you are watching re-runs of Sex and the City.



Fuzzy Navel

You’re comfortable with who you are, to bad you’re the only one.



Gimlet

No, this not a Character in Harry Potter...although that dude is now old enough to order one and your to old to know who Harry Potter is.


Green Tea Martini

You believe in earth conscious living, except for that time you drank to many backed over a baby seal with your SUV.



Harvey Wallbanger

You're an old school drinker with...Oh who are you kidding? you just like to find a female bartender and order this drink so you can say 'wallbanger' without a slap or verbal castration.


Jägerbomb

collage was the best six years of your life.



Long Island Iced Tea

No matter how old you are, at some level, you’re still afraid your parents are going to catch you drinking.



Mai Tai

You’re attracted to exotic people and places, but not enough to get a passport.



Manhattan

You’re witty, sophisticated, and not at all jealous that the assholes pounding down Jell-O shots at the other end of the bar are having all the fun.



Margarita

All of your relationships have either begun or ended at a wet t-shirt contest.



Orgasm

You consider yourself too classy to order a Blow Job, but not classy enough to order a Sex on the Beach.



Piña Colada

You’re 50% lady, 50% tramp, and 100% drunk.



Raging Bull

You’re indestructible, and you’re going to prove it as soon as you stop the bleeding...person+velocity+brickwall=best facebook photo ever.


Tequila Slammer

You’re down-to-earth. Usually face-down.


Zombie

No matter what people say, you’re getting along just fine without long-term memory.¸