Time to Wine...

Hebdomadal Hooch:
Hair of the Dog "Doggie Claws"
Hair of the Dog is known for ales in the boldly-hopped West Coast style, and Doggie Claws is no exception. Organic Pilsner malt makes this beer paler than most, a rich burnt orange color gives its flavor intensity. Doggie Claws smells like ginger marmalade and pineapple upside-down cake. Layers of green piney hops add to the beer's complexity. Surprisingly dry for such a strong beer, Doggie Claws is better for sipping than pint draining at happy hour.

Ethanol Etiquette:
Why is it always a Red Solo Cup at parties? Probably because they’re cheap. Why red? Because red is the color of power, and power is what being cool and drunk is all about. Some may say that the red solo cup in itself is meaningless, and that the true secret resides within that plastic vessel. Perhaps alcohol is the answer. Alas, no. Alcohol may help make you more “interesting” for the moment, but it will not make you cool. What makes you cool is getting your picture taken with that telltale piece of plasticware in your hand. Make sure that there’s plenty of red-eye in that photo too, because you’re wasted and your pupils are incapacitated. One of those shell necklaces and a baseball cap turned to the side are also suggested. If you’re gonna be a drunken ass, then do it right!
Beer Keg: $100
Bag of red Solo Cups: $8
Watching your friend strip down naked and punch a blind midget in the face: Senseless


Rot Gut Reviews:
We have an African American President! Now is the perfect time to throw out old prejudices and give box wine a try. That's particularly true now, as several producers have recently released dry premium wines. Box wines are popular in Australia and Europe, where premium wine has long been available in cardboard.Boxed wine holds exactly the same amount as bottles sitting nearby on the supermarket shelf. But there are two key differences: The box wines cost less because the packaging is cheaper. And boxes, which are lined with a plastic vacuum-sealed bag, stay fresh much longer after opening -- about a month, compared to just a day or so for many bottles. The new premium boxes hold 3 liters of wine, and they retail for $10 to $36, the equivalent of $2.50 to $9 per bottle.

Firewater Food Flirtation:
People got to eat and drink…the being merry part is an unspoken rule. Let’s take a look at some 'odd couple'food paring.
•Viognier and Guacamole: Viognier is a grape that comes from France that has recently been grown in Texas and Washington. It has the flavor of fruits such as mangos and peaches. It pairs well with creamy guacamole, especially if it has lemon or lime in it.
•Muscat and Macaroni and Cheese: The Muscat grape originally comes from Greece and is thought to be the oldest grape in the world. Its lasting, sweet flavor is broken by something creamy or spicy. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Deluxe is a good choice. Essentia is made from a different type of Muscat from the United States that has very heavy orange flavors. Try this style of muscat with Tres Leches Ice Cream and Dark Chocolate.
•Sauternes and M&M’s: Unlike the other grape varietals, it is not made from the grape that it is named after. Sauternes are made from a combination that includes Semillion and Muscadelle. It has a light, apple-y caramels taste, drink while leisurely eating a bowl of M&M’s…sublime.

Booze Elf Sightings:
Be on the lookout, dear friends, for the Booze Elf cometh baring false prophecy of protection against hangovers, drunk dials, and after-the-bar drive thru food choices that end up violently expelled from your person in the back or front seat of a friend’s car...The Booze Elf cannot,nay, MUST not be trusted!