What are some every day words used to describe a Ne’er-Do-Well? A bum, fainéant, good-for-nothing, idler, loafer, no-good, or slugabed can all be used. How about using Ne’er-Do-Well in a sentence?
“That f*cking Ne’er-Do-Well drank all the booze and pissed in the kitchen sink…AGAIN!”
Not a stunning adjective to be stuck with for the rest of your life…Until now. I believe there is a Ne’er-Do-Well in all of us, a harmless little pixie made up of mirth, mischief and monkey business. Let it be known that from this day forth that all followers of this blog will now be referred to as…wait for it…a, Ne’er-Do-Well! (Merchandise is on the way)
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Time to Wine...
Hebdomadal Hooch:
Hair of the Dog "Doggie Claws"
Hair of the Dog is known for ales in the boldly-hopped West Coast style, and Doggie Claws is no exception. Organic Pilsner malt makes this beer paler than most, a rich burnt orange color gives its flavor intensity. Doggie Claws smells like ginger marmalade and pineapple upside-down cake. Layers of green piney hops add to the beer's complexity. Surprisingly dry for such a strong beer, Doggie Claws is better for sipping than pint draining at happy hour.
Ethanol Etiquette:
Why is it always a Red Solo Cup at parties? Probably because they’re cheap. Why red? Because red is the color of power, and power is what being cool and drunk is all about. Some may say that the red solo cup in itself is meaningless, and that the true secret resides within that plastic vessel. Perhaps alcohol is the answer. Alas, no. Alcohol may help make you more “interesting” for the moment, but it will not make you cool. What makes you cool is getting your picture taken with that telltale piece of plasticware in your hand. Make sure that there’s plenty of red-eye in that photo too, because you’re wasted and your pupils are incapacitated. One of those shell necklaces and a baseball cap turned to the side are also suggested. If you’re gonna be a drunken ass, then do it right!
Beer Keg: $100
Bag of red Solo Cups: $8
Watching your friend strip down naked and punch a blind midget in the face: Senseless
Rot Gut Reviews:
We have an African American President! Now is the perfect time to throw out old prejudices and give box wine a try. That's particularly true now, as several producers have recently released dry premium wines. Box wines are popular in Australia and Europe, where premium wine has long been available in cardboard.Boxed wine holds exactly the same amount as bottles sitting nearby on the supermarket shelf. But there are two key differences: The box wines cost less because the packaging is cheaper. And boxes, which are lined with a plastic vacuum-sealed bag, stay fresh much longer after opening -- about a month, compared to just a day or so for many bottles. The new premium boxes hold 3 liters of wine, and they retail for $10 to $36, the equivalent of $2.50 to $9 per bottle.
Firewater Food Flirtation:
People got to eat and drink…the being merry part is an unspoken rule. Let’s take a look at some 'odd couple'food paring.
•Viognier and Guacamole: Viognier is a grape that comes from France that has recently been grown in Texas and Washington. It has the flavor of fruits such as mangos and peaches. It pairs well with creamy guacamole, especially if it has lemon or lime in it.
•Muscat and Macaroni and Cheese: The Muscat grape originally comes from Greece and is thought to be the oldest grape in the world. Its lasting, sweet flavor is broken by something creamy or spicy. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Deluxe is a good choice. Essentia is made from a different type of Muscat from the United States that has very heavy orange flavors. Try this style of muscat with Tres Leches Ice Cream and Dark Chocolate.
•Sauternes and M&M’s: Unlike the other grape varietals, it is not made from the grape that it is named after. Sauternes are made from a combination that includes Semillion and Muscadelle. It has a light, apple-y caramels taste, drink while leisurely eating a bowl of M&M’s…sublime.
Booze Elf Sightings:
Be on the lookout, dear friends, for the Booze Elf cometh baring false prophecy of protection against hangovers, drunk dials, and after-the-bar drive thru food choices that end up violently expelled from your person in the back or front seat of a friend’s car...The Booze Elf cannot,nay, MUST not be trusted!
Hair of the Dog "Doggie Claws"
Hair of the Dog is known for ales in the boldly-hopped West Coast style, and Doggie Claws is no exception. Organic Pilsner malt makes this beer paler than most, a rich burnt orange color gives its flavor intensity. Doggie Claws smells like ginger marmalade and pineapple upside-down cake. Layers of green piney hops add to the beer's complexity. Surprisingly dry for such a strong beer, Doggie Claws is better for sipping than pint draining at happy hour.
Ethanol Etiquette:
Why is it always a Red Solo Cup at parties? Probably because they’re cheap. Why red? Because red is the color of power, and power is what being cool and drunk is all about. Some may say that the red solo cup in itself is meaningless, and that the true secret resides within that plastic vessel. Perhaps alcohol is the answer. Alas, no. Alcohol may help make you more “interesting” for the moment, but it will not make you cool. What makes you cool is getting your picture taken with that telltale piece of plasticware in your hand. Make sure that there’s plenty of red-eye in that photo too, because you’re wasted and your pupils are incapacitated. One of those shell necklaces and a baseball cap turned to the side are also suggested. If you’re gonna be a drunken ass, then do it right!
Beer Keg: $100
Bag of red Solo Cups: $8
Watching your friend strip down naked and punch a blind midget in the face: Senseless
Rot Gut Reviews:
We have an African American President! Now is the perfect time to throw out old prejudices and give box wine a try. That's particularly true now, as several producers have recently released dry premium wines. Box wines are popular in Australia and Europe, where premium wine has long been available in cardboard.Boxed wine holds exactly the same amount as bottles sitting nearby on the supermarket shelf. But there are two key differences: The box wines cost less because the packaging is cheaper. And boxes, which are lined with a plastic vacuum-sealed bag, stay fresh much longer after opening -- about a month, compared to just a day or so for many bottles. The new premium boxes hold 3 liters of wine, and they retail for $10 to $36, the equivalent of $2.50 to $9 per bottle.
Firewater Food Flirtation:
People got to eat and drink…the being merry part is an unspoken rule. Let’s take a look at some 'odd couple'food paring.
•Viognier and Guacamole: Viognier is a grape that comes from France that has recently been grown in Texas and Washington. It has the flavor of fruits such as mangos and peaches. It pairs well with creamy guacamole, especially if it has lemon or lime in it.
•Muscat and Macaroni and Cheese: The Muscat grape originally comes from Greece and is thought to be the oldest grape in the world. Its lasting, sweet flavor is broken by something creamy or spicy. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Deluxe is a good choice. Essentia is made from a different type of Muscat from the United States that has very heavy orange flavors. Try this style of muscat with Tres Leches Ice Cream and Dark Chocolate.
•Sauternes and M&M’s: Unlike the other grape varietals, it is not made from the grape that it is named after. Sauternes are made from a combination that includes Semillion and Muscadelle. It has a light, apple-y caramels taste, drink while leisurely eating a bowl of M&M’s…sublime.
Booze Elf Sightings:
Be on the lookout, dear friends, for the Booze Elf cometh baring false prophecy of protection against hangovers, drunk dials, and after-the-bar drive thru food choices that end up violently expelled from your person in the back or front seat of a friend’s car...The Booze Elf cannot,nay, MUST not be trusted!
Monday, February 9, 2009
In case you were wondering…
I was 'axed' some questions just the other day:
Why is there plastic things in Guinness beers?
A:They're called widgets and they imitate the use of nitrogen as a carbonation in the kegged version. They provide the creaminess to come out in the can/bottle versions as in the kegged version.
What's the best alcoholic drink or shot?
Man this a tough one...You have to factor in personal taste, region, group participation...religious beliefs,ext. I think that this question should be broken down by several situations instead.
1.Kick-Back: this a very cool and relaxed event, no need to get dressed up. You and a group of friends are BBQ'n and tell'n old 'memeber when?" stories. The preferred weapon of choice here is beer and not a dark of heavy one either, a lager like Corona, Land shark, or Dos Equis is money. Lagers will go with ALL BBQ food and don't fuck you up to the point to where you can't defend yourself during the "memeber when stories"!
2.Dinner Party: Wine...big surprise here, huh? red is usually the best,but just don't buy the a plain old Merlot or Pinot...throw a curve ball and score some points...pick up a blended red wine. Why blend red wines together? There are many rationales. Most obvious is to improve upon the shortcomings of one wine by adding another with a different set of deficiencies, saving both varieties. The reason that most inexpensive New World wines are without obvious flaw is because they are blends. Roll with a red...but bring a blend.
3.Social/Party: is there a difference between the two? Oh yeah! A Social and a Party look the same to the naked eye, same amount of people, usually at a house, all kinds of liquor...but here is the difference, a Social is made up of groups of established friends,acquaintances, and invitees...you walk in not knowing anyone and the proverbial needle jumps and the music comes to a screeching halt! A Party,however, is a free for all! you might have just walked in off the street but four shots later and you're one of the family! So when at a party, drink as much high grade liquor and shots as you can because no one will remember who drank it all at the end of the night! Start with beer at a Social...then strategically begin "bar tending" as people walk up to get a drink...after you pour a few drinks with a smile and act like you own the joint...you'll become a popular guest and the good hooch is yours for the taking. top drinks should be Vodka mixes or shots, whiskey and cokes, and try to leave with a bottle or two at the end of the night. Don't forget the greatest drink of all time...the free one!!!!!
Finally, this is what I was drinking this weekend...
Beer(s): Flying Dog Tire Bite Golden Ale, Harp, and Smithwicks.
Shot: "Shoot the Root"...pour a shot of root beer schnapps into a shot glass, drop it into a lite beer filled half way in a pub glass and pound...tastes like a root beer float.MMMMMmmmmm
Why is there plastic things in Guinness beers?
A:They're called widgets and they imitate the use of nitrogen as a carbonation in the kegged version. They provide the creaminess to come out in the can/bottle versions as in the kegged version.
What's the best alcoholic drink or shot?
Man this a tough one...You have to factor in personal taste, region, group participation...religious beliefs,ext. I think that this question should be broken down by several situations instead.
1.Kick-Back: this a very cool and relaxed event, no need to get dressed up. You and a group of friends are BBQ'n and tell'n old 'memeber when?" stories. The preferred weapon of choice here is beer and not a dark of heavy one either, a lager like Corona, Land shark, or Dos Equis is money. Lagers will go with ALL BBQ food and don't fuck you up to the point to where you can't defend yourself during the "memeber when stories"!
2.Dinner Party: Wine...big surprise here, huh? red is usually the best,but just don't buy the a plain old Merlot or Pinot...throw a curve ball and score some points...pick up a blended red wine. Why blend red wines together? There are many rationales. Most obvious is to improve upon the shortcomings of one wine by adding another with a different set of deficiencies, saving both varieties. The reason that most inexpensive New World wines are without obvious flaw is because they are blends. Roll with a red...but bring a blend.
3.Social/Party: is there a difference between the two? Oh yeah! A Social and a Party look the same to the naked eye, same amount of people, usually at a house, all kinds of liquor...but here is the difference, a Social is made up of groups of established friends,acquaintances, and invitees...you walk in not knowing anyone and the proverbial needle jumps and the music comes to a screeching halt! A Party,however, is a free for all! you might have just walked in off the street but four shots later and you're one of the family! So when at a party, drink as much high grade liquor and shots as you can because no one will remember who drank it all at the end of the night! Start with beer at a Social...then strategically begin "bar tending" as people walk up to get a drink...after you pour a few drinks with a smile and act like you own the joint...you'll become a popular guest and the good hooch is yours for the taking. top drinks should be Vodka mixes or shots, whiskey and cokes, and try to leave with a bottle or two at the end of the night. Don't forget the greatest drink of all time...the free one!!!!!
Finally, this is what I was drinking this weekend...
Beer(s): Flying Dog Tire Bite Golden Ale, Harp, and Smithwicks.
Shot: "Shoot the Root"...pour a shot of root beer schnapps into a shot glass, drop it into a lite beer filled half way in a pub glass and pound...tastes like a root beer float.MMMMMmmmmm
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
About Bar Nuts
I had been wanting to do a comic strip for some time now and was never really sure what I wanted to do it on. I also realize that my art is less than perfect so that also stood in the way of my progress. But, as you can tell i kinda dig doing this Bar Nuts comic strip and I hope you all are getting a chuckle.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Cans Vs. Bottles
This is a debate that has gone on for some time in the esteemed halls of “alcoholdemia”…Beer in cans vs. Beer in bottles.
Let’s take a look at Beer from cans…there some advantages here… cans cool faster, they are easier to carry with You and store in refrigerators (fridge packs) they also tend to be less expensive than their glass encased counterparts. Bottled Beer on the other hand offers more variety and higher grade brew. You won’t find a Bell's Oberon in a can... You won’t find a Chimay Red or anything from Dogfish Head, Goose Island, Samuel Adams or any other quality brewer in a can (Sorry PBR fans). When drinking ‘Brewskis’ from a can you also run the risk of “Taste Tainting”…what is that you ax? “Taste Tainting” is when you drink beer from a less that pure container and taint the true taste. Think about this…a can’s opening or mouth ( the place ya put your lips) is completely venerable to contaminates and unthinkable atrocities…anyone or anything could have touched, spilled or died on the mouth of the can…just because it’s in a box dose not mean it was brewed in that box. Bottles on the other hand, their mouths are protected by the bottle cap…pop the cap, drink safely. Canned Beer however dose have a very distinct and important advantage over their shatterable substitute…it keeps the sun from reaching the beer…Sun+Beer =skunkieness…that’s science people.
If you are a ‘cold-one connoisseur’ then this debate is close to your heart and a clear and definitive answer seems unattainable…alas, there is an outcome that might prove beneficial to both warring sides.
If you are penny conscious, liker of limited selection and love the ‘easy to pound” nature of a canned brew…then I offer this humble advise…clean the mouth of the can first…or at least clean off the first 6 or so…after that who cares, all the beer residue on your lips would protect you from a French kiss with a leper victim, enjoy.
Now, if you have a more refined pallet…not a Liquor Snob, mind you…but a taste for Ales and Porters and Microbrews, oh my! Then keep your class and drink from a glass. You can find good beer in a cans...Corona, Guinness, Heineken to name a few…so drink up and offer you’re aluminum alcoholic friend a plastic bottled beverage (bud light) so appearances can be maintained and you can stop judging and start chugging! And remember whether you’re a Can-Man/woman or Bottle Buddy…we all end up peeing on someone’s flowers at 2 in the morning!
Let’s take a look at Beer from cans…there some advantages here… cans cool faster, they are easier to carry with You and store in refrigerators (fridge packs) they also tend to be less expensive than their glass encased counterparts. Bottled Beer on the other hand offers more variety and higher grade brew. You won’t find a Bell's Oberon in a can... You won’t find a Chimay Red or anything from Dogfish Head, Goose Island, Samuel Adams or any other quality brewer in a can (Sorry PBR fans). When drinking ‘Brewskis’ from a can you also run the risk of “Taste Tainting”…what is that you ax? “Taste Tainting” is when you drink beer from a less that pure container and taint the true taste. Think about this…a can’s opening or mouth ( the place ya put your lips) is completely venerable to contaminates and unthinkable atrocities…anyone or anything could have touched, spilled or died on the mouth of the can…just because it’s in a box dose not mean it was brewed in that box. Bottles on the other hand, their mouths are protected by the bottle cap…pop the cap, drink safely. Canned Beer however dose have a very distinct and important advantage over their shatterable substitute…it keeps the sun from reaching the beer…Sun+Beer =skunkieness…that’s science people.
If you are a ‘cold-one connoisseur’ then this debate is close to your heart and a clear and definitive answer seems unattainable…alas, there is an outcome that might prove beneficial to both warring sides.
If you are penny conscious, liker of limited selection and love the ‘easy to pound” nature of a canned brew…then I offer this humble advise…clean the mouth of the can first…or at least clean off the first 6 or so…after that who cares, all the beer residue on your lips would protect you from a French kiss with a leper victim, enjoy.
Now, if you have a more refined pallet…not a Liquor Snob, mind you…but a taste for Ales and Porters and Microbrews, oh my! Then keep your class and drink from a glass. You can find good beer in a cans...Corona, Guinness, Heineken to name a few…so drink up and offer you’re aluminum alcoholic friend a plastic bottled beverage (bud light) so appearances can be maintained and you can stop judging and start chugging! And remember whether you’re a Can-Man/woman or Bottle Buddy…we all end up peeing on someone’s flowers at 2 in the morning!
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